I am developing a very strong hatred for people. I hate people. Hate seeing them. Hate being around them. Hate interacting with them. I just wanna cease to exist.
I woke up this morning feeling like shit. Again. My body dysmorphia was making me go crazy. I am obsessed with bodychecking. I try to convince myself, that I'm good, that I'm ok, but I'm not. I'm ugly. Deformed. Imperfect. Deeply flawed. I can't stand feeling like this anymore. My arm is screaming "cut me". I wanna die. I deserve to die. Like the disgusting bastard I am.
I think I should start by explaining why I created this blog. Well, to sum it up, I'm tired. I keep waking up every single day, and feeling ugly. Untalented. Unattractive. Worthless. Dumb. Unpleasant. I don't know why it had to be this way, but it is. And I wanted to put that shit out there. Maybe someone will find this. Maybe they'll relate to it, know that they are not alone. Maybe they'll find me pathetic. But I want to document my thoughts. My struggles. My daily self-loathing. I want to make something out of this absolute mess.